kazaam dave be illin (vanedave) wrote,
kazaam dave be illin

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Jesus: The Sequel Part 2

I don't know why this happened, but I could not get this entire entry on the page in one shot. So I split it up. Here is the thrilling finale...

Jesus Was a Black Man???

Lastly let's take a look at a bit more of an unconventional Jesus. Even more unconventional than stick figure Jesus or anything like that. I am talking about those people who believe Jesus was a black man. (Now that's craziness)


Let's begin in the motherland. Here we see a very African version of Jesus on the cross. That guy touching his robe is African Mary. I have a real problem with this pic. It is not an accurate depiction of Jesus dying on the cross at all. It's not the fact that this Jesus looks different than what we are used to, it's the fact that this picture is chronologically inaccurate. Check out the cop in the beret behind Jesus, and the store in the background. What year is this? Do they know that Christ died for our sins almost 2000 years ago. Or maybe, Kimbo store has been around that long after all.            

As if I didn't hate the Lakers enough already!

Here we see a depiction of Jesus as a black man today's youth can relate too. Too bad it's absolutely retarded. I thought this was Rick Fox before I looked closer. When I realized it was Jesus, I was pretty disappointed. However, I must admit that this pic makes sense for one reason. People these days absolutely worship pro athletes. Maybe if Jesus were a Laker more people would be praising his name. Imagine combining JC's popularity with Jordan's popularity. He'd be the biggest thing since sliced bread.

Last, and definitely least, is a picture I really was hesitant to use in this entry. Out of all of these weird depictions of our Lord, this was the only one I really felt a little guilty about. Actually I felt really wrong about it, but I just couldn't help myself. Here is what I am talking about.

Meet the one and only "Black Jesus." So, just who is Black Jesus? Why, He's Leroy Pontrell Perkins of Minneapolis, MN. And to quote some of his wisdom, "If a man loves God and God loves him how's he gonna love him less for sharing a brother forty ounce?" I don't know if this is more offensive to Christians, or to Black people, but it is definitely offensive one way or the other!

Well kids, that's it for me today. I am off to say about 1 million Hail Marys and pray for forgiveness that will never come. Stay holy y'all.

Sidenote- I had trouble with the journal for some reason and had to delete about twenty failed attempts to fit this whole entry in at once. In the process of deleting these mistakes, I also delted my previous two entries. That really sucks. I think Jesus punished me for this entry.

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