kazaam dave be illin (vanedave) wrote,
kazaam dave be illin

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give me a break

Can't a guy be sensitive without people making fun of him? Alright probably not. I half expected the ribbing I got for my poetry entry. Most people are far too pedestrian and juvenile to fully appreciate my craft. Anyway, enough bitching about that. On to bitching about other things. Today is Sunday and I am at work right now. This sucks balls. It wouldn't be so bad if we actually had some shit that needed to be done, but we don't. They make us come into the office and wait by the phone just in case some shit happens. The only phone call we ever get on a Sunday is our fucking supervisor calling to make sure everything is going okay. Here is a typical Sunday up here in a nutshell:

6 AM- PT formation sometimes. Other days we actually get to sleep till 8 AM or so. What a privilege. The hardest part for me about getting up on a weekend is when people tell me good morning at 6 AM. It takes every ounce of restraint in me not to say something along the lines of “FUCK OFF ASSHOLE! Do you see what fucking time it is? Good morning my ass!”  (I feel you kid)
8 AM- Get ready for the day, maybe some breakfast or something.

8:45 AM- Time to go to the office. Oh Joy!

9 AM- 11:30 AM- Bullshitting around at the office pretending to be doing work that doesn’t exist. Usually on the internet creating masterpieces such as this one, reading about sports or people’s journals, and trying like hell not to fall asleep.

11:30 AM- 12: 30 PM- Lunch time (A.K.A super duper fun time). Nothing special here at all. We just drag our asses down to the whack ass chow hall and get some whack ass food. On good days where we are feeling adventurous we might go to Burger King.

12:30 PM- 1:30 PM- More fun on the internet. Damn I wish I could look at porn over here. I could kill a good six hours a day that way.

1:30 PM- Just about the time our supervisor calls. He basically just calls whoever is here in the office and asks what we are doing and if everything’s okay. Out loud we say yes, but in my mind I say; “No everything is not okay you cock monkey. You’ve got us up here in this stupid ass office on a Sunday doing nothing but waiting for your dumb ass to call and check up on ass. Now unless you’re calling to tell us that you’re sorry for being a retard and making us waste our fucking time all day, than do us all a favor and shut the hell up. Sergeant.” I have to say Sergeant afterwards. This is the military after all. I wouldn’t want to seem disrespectful.

1:30 PM - 4 PM- Watch the clock until it’s time to go, and bitch about having to be here. Sometimes out loud, sometimes in my head.

4 PM – 10 PM- Back to the barracks for free time. “Free” time is really a bad way of putting it. If it were free time I could do what the hell I wanted to do and I would be in NYC. It’s more like “You’re stuck here at Fort Drum and the furthest you can go is Watertown, which means there really aint shit to do, but if you can find some way to pass the time besides twiddling your thumbs knock yourself out” time.

10 PM- Best part of my day, the end of it. This is usually right around the time where I fall asleep, with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head. Or at least I would fall asleep if it weren’t for my insomnia. Let’s just say I fall half asleep and wake up feeling like shit and looking like I am high on rocks.


So there you are. A small taste of my all too exciting weekend routine. Don’t feel bad, at least I’m not a Dolphins fan (I am sorry if that sports joke was lost on any of you). That’s all folks.


Sidenote- Knicks got Jamal Crawford and have a chance at getting Erick Dampier for like 5 million. Early reports however say that they might have used the money they need for Dampier to sign Vin Baker to a 3 year deal. What the hell is the matter with them. Vin fucking Baker instead of Dampier. I can’t take this bullshit from them right now. Between my life, the Mets choking away any chance at winning the division, and Yanni and Bolton (DIE FUCKERS!!!) still being alive I don’t think I have the patience for this continued stupidity from the Knicks’ front office. I need a Lewinsky so bad right about now.                .

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