kazaam dave be illin (vanedave) wrote,
kazaam dave be illin

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I love the nightlife.

So as you might know by now, I am currently up here at Ft.Drum sitting on my ass waiting for Doctor's orders. As far as the surrounding area goes, Ft.Drum is smack dab in the middle of nowhere. The nearest "city" is Watertown, NY, a.k.a who gives a shit, U.S.A. First of all it must be called Watertown because it seems to rain every day up here. The weather is fucking depressing. As far as population goes, I would estimate about 1,000 or so people are up here (mostly old ex-military people). The scenery is beautiful up here. I have seen at least 5 shitty ass looking farms, 6 country ass looking bars, 4 confederate flagged trucks, 2 gun shops, and of course 1 Giant Wal-Mart. I feel right at home. I've been up here for like two weeks now, and I am starting to get to know a bunch of people up here. My roommate is constantly going out and Saturday was the first night that we were allowed to go out into town, so I decided to make that night my first out with everyone.
This girl we were going with picked me up around ten and asked me if I had two forms of ID. I asked her if we were going to the fucking airport or a club? She told me that this was really a club and that they had a dress code and everything. For a while there I thought this would be a decent little club for mostly military people who want to chill on the weekend. When we got closer to the area of the club I realized (due to the three abandon houses in close proximity) how wrong I was. The "club," which was named "Stingers," was really no more than a bar with a dance floor and a reall shitty pool table. Think Endicott/Johnson City style. When we first got there it was just a bunch of people from our company and like two or three other people. So we played pool and proceeded to start drinking (they had hennessy and Alize' so I was pleasently surprised). After a few games of pool the real fun began. The Waterwtown faithful began to show.
One of the most fascinating and interesting creatures on earth today is the "townie." My first extensive exposure to these peeps came at Binghamton University. On saturday I was reminded how much fun townies can be. most of these townies were of the black variety, although there were some scattered crackas. The dudes mostly looked like they had just come from getting rejected to be in a Lil' video, and promptly started a faux mosh pit upon their arrival. The "ladies" (that is the loosest use of that word ever) were mostly of the ass, titties, and fat popping out of every part of their clothes variety. Needless to say they were a barrel of laughs. The white people were mostly like the Jerry Springer trailer people who only date black people and try to be down with all that is black and classless. I heard the name Cleetus on more than one ocassion. The best part about my townie friends that night was definitely the interesting aroma they left on the dance floor. I know it's like twenty miles to the nearest general store, but please wear deoderant to the "club."
Ahhh yes. Now that I have been re-acquainted with the townie I feel like a new man. I have many a fond memory of townies, from mullet hunting in Bing to lady with three toddlers in a bar at 1 AM in Port Jervis. Good to get the ball rolling again.

Sidenote-When in a fucking nowhere town an interesting thing to do is drive with the windows down and experience the smell of the town. Watertown for instance has the unmistakable aroma of cow shit for a 25 mile radius.
Go Mets. So close to first I can taste it.
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